Today I'm just going to gibber about one of the nicest compliments I can remember having received.
You may recall that I spoke in my last post of my habit of casting away compliments aimed at me. If you cared to try it (which I don't recommend), you'd find it's a habit that comes remarkably easy.
It's not that a girl can't appreciate the effort when the guys she's acquainted with comment on her appearance or charm or what-have-you. But those things are easy enough to say and just as easy to disregard.
It's all well and good to hear: "You're pretty," "You're fun," "Nice hair," "You're cool," "You're sweet," and... yeah... whatever. Thanks.
Any such compliment coming from a gal's male friends can be taken with a grain of salt because, whether intentional or not, it seems to be laced with a hint of something that sounds like, "Someone else is going to think you're gorgeous and fall hopelessly in love," or "You're wonderful - for some other guy."
Compare that now with how it might feel to hear someone whose judgment you trust, and whose opinion you respect, saying, "I would consider you worth dating myself."
...D'you see the difference?
The latter may not even have to be intended as a compliment, but rather stated simply as an honest confession. But it shows her a degree of admiration that any of those other compliments could never hope to measure up to.
To the studly man honest enough and brave enough to give such a compliment, I say thank you. Most sincerely and delightedly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightning and a lightning bug," Mark Twain
Music - "Affirmation," Savage Garden
Mood - Beautiful
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Mouths of Babes
I'm in such a happy place, and I just have to let the world know it! Why am I happy? For a couple of reasons. I'll just prattle about a few of the bigger ones.
First of all, while I still have a lot of issues to sort through where my education's concerned, I've just made a decision that I feel very good about that is going to make my goals considerably simpler.
I chose Illustration as the program I'd pursue because I've spent my entire life creating characters and putting them on paper. I've gotten fairly good at it, if I may say so. And I agree with the idea that you should make the thing you love to do most your life's work.
I wouldn't call drawing the thing I love doing most of all. It's one of several talents and interests I've developed to the point of feeling skilled. I don't have any one thing I love doing most - except perhaps playing with children. Acting, writing, baking, history, photography, heck - even romping around in the woods can be made into a profession. My point - there are a number of things I could do with my education and career that I could enjoy just as much as illustration.
So I've taken a step back and examined the option I'd decided on, and have become very keenly aware of how difficult even being accepted into this program is. (Less than a third of the applicants make it in - and then they have to continually re-apply, competing with in-coming talent all over again.) I won't even know if I can get into it for another half a year at least. And on top of that, I'm not sure what I'd do career-wise with a BFA in Illustration once I've graduated. That's a lot of extra effort for something I don't have my heart absolutely set on, and I've got plenty of other hoops (fiery ones) to jump through where my education's concerned besides.
So let's look at some of the other options I mentioned above.
Children - becoming a mother will take care of that one. But that still leaves me in need to a career path to follow.
Acting - there's another uber-competitive program intended only for those die-hards who are truly devoted to it mind, body, and soul. I am more devoted to some other goals than I could be to that particular career option (see the children bit above).
Writing - while I have every intention of someday writing a novel (or three), I do not ever wish to be an English major. All they do is write papers. And that's the stuff of my nightmares.
Baking - I figure I bake enough birthday cakes and donuts for my friends as it is that I'm not really hurting for time in the kitchen. And BYU doesn't have a culinary arts program anyway.
Photography - another hobby I really enjoy. Traveling as a wildlife photographer could be amazing... but could also get lonely, I think. Plus, the Photography program is also one of those that requires acceptance and continual high levels of competition.
History - Hmm... Here's a subject I've always enjoyed and done well in. I don't have to wait half a year for someone else to tell me I'm good enough for it. It's a fairly low number of credits, which means I can branch out a bit with a minor - or maybe even two if I get really ambitious. (Or better yet - I could just graduate before my kids do...)
I've also found a minor to go along with it - Anthropology offers some interesting classes that delve into fun things like mythology, cultures, and even some archeology (Now that's fun! ^.^).
But what would I do with a bachelor's in History once I'm out in the real world? Hm... Perhaps nothing. But it's a great stepping block up to a master's in Library Sciences. I really can't imagine a job that could make me happier than reading books for a living, so if I did have to choose one thing to be my dream job, I guess 'librarian' wins. ^_________^()
So that's it. I have a goal. One that won't be such a headache to make a reality. I'm changing my major to History and working toward a minor in Anthropology. I feel very, very good about this decision.
What else makes me happy? I have a list of goals I'd like to accomplish in my lifetime in order to make myself a better person. (I think most of us have such a list.) One of the vaguer goals on that list is to overcome my dislike for something I have an aversion to. I've thought of the perfect something. It's actually something I enjoyed as a kid, but it was unfortunately spoiled for me by sour teachers in my teenage years. Science. This is a shocker for some of you, I know. However, it's not all-encompassing. I doubt any miracle on this green planet could convince me to enjoy that demonic subject known as biology. But I can recall a time (before high school bio) when I was at the very top of my science class. Mrs. Waggy was my all-time favorite teacher. (Guess which subject she taught.) She had to ask me to stop participating in class because I was making my classmates lazy. Her classes consisted mainly of things like dinosaurs, volcanoes, plate tectonics, rocks - geology. I loved it. I'd forgotten that there were branches of science other than biology, and I'm afraid I've learned to shy away from anything labeled 'SCIENCE' with a disgusted disposition because of that one bad egg. And now I have every intention of fixing that. I'm so excited to be able to take classes again! I've got this all-new zeal for learning, and I'm itching to make it happen!
I'm also happy because I've been developing some new skills.
1- I've baked two (soon to be three) cakes in the last month, and have been absolutely satisfied with the end results - no easy task for an artistic perfectionist-type with the world's greatest cake decorator for a grandmother to set the standard.
2- Two or three months ago, I started playing Ultimate Frisbee once a week with some friends in my ward. I went because those friends pressured me into it. Not because I really wanted to be there. And it showed. I lacked sufficient confidence to do anything but freak out and cry for help as I dropped any projectile that flew in my direction.
But now... I CAN CATCH THE THING! And not just when the passes are easy. The fear's totally gone. Tonight, I played so well that I can honestly consider myself one of the better players we had on the field. I'm enjoying it, and I feel valuable to the people I'm playing with. It's one heckuva confidence booster. ^__________^ I'm being useful at the same time that I'm getting more physically fit!
I am happy because of the honesty one receives and shares with their real friends.
And why else am I happy? Because I've made up my mind to be.
I've been more than a little self-critical lately. I've made a bad habit of brushing off compliments from others with self-directed insults. While I was talking to my baby sister Keira on the phone yesterday, I got blind-sided with a compliment I couldn't just ignore, though. I'm not even sure why she said it; I can't remember what came before it. She just said very simply, "You're so pretty. You're prettier than me." And it absolutely floored me. This beautiful, perfect little cherub-child with those big blue eyes, dimples, and gorgeous golden curls that are nearly as long as she is tall thinks -I'm- prettier than -she- is? After she said it, I tried to deny it, but I couldn't. How can you argue over something like that with a 4-year-old? You can't because you can't teach her how to look down on herself, and she learns everything by example. And she can't lie about something like that. She's too young to think of sparing someone's feelings with sugar-coated half-truths. She tells it exactly the way she sees it.
So I've decided that I can't continue to criticize myself as I have. I can't think negatively about my appearance or weight or any of that. I've decided that it's time I start taking those compliments to heart and looking for the good things other people seem to see when they look at me.
I have a lot of reasons to be grateful right now. And I can't think of one good reason not to be because I don't want to. I'm happy and I'm choosing to stay that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "To wish you were somebody else is to waste the person you are," Unknown
Music - "The Curse" and "The Melody Within," Rigoletto
Mood - Happy
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sink Me!
"They seek him here,
They seek him there.
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven?
Or is he in... hell? *gasp*
That damned, elusive pimpernel."
Hold the phones. All the plans have just changed. It's official: I am going to marry the Scarlet Pimpernel.
It's a slightly embarrassing fact that I've had a pseudo-secretive love for historical romance novels for years. Yes, they're cliche, and yes, they're unrealistic, and yes, they're everything else you've ever heard about them... And yes, I love 'em for it. >.<() Whaddya know? Turns out I'm a sappy romantic girl after all...
Sir Percy: "The only power that I can see at present, mademoiselle, is the power of your beauty."
Marguerite: "Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Sir Percy."
Sir Percy: "This beholder is enchanted."
SQUEEEEEEEEE! XD
I watched the Scarlet Pimpernel for the first time today, and it carried me away to a world where men are noble and hold themselves to codes of honor and dignity. Women don't have to play tough and aren't pleasantly surprised when a man treats her with the good manners one shows a lady because chivalry is already expected. It's a world wherein people aren't afraid to make their romantic intentions toward each other known and they act upon their emotions, rather than hiding them out of fear of another's rejection. It's the kind of world where men like Sir Percy Blakeney, Bart. are allowed to exist.
Marguerite: "I don't know whether you're mad, or..."
Sir Percy: "Desperately in love? 'Tis all the same. Tell me, if you can, that you do not feel it, too."
There's a line in the movie where Marguerite describes the sort of man she wanted - "...the sort of man a woman can look up to. That she could turn to in trouble." At a glance, it seems so often that these romances set in older times portray women as needy and incapable of handling their own lives without the assistance of the dashing rogue that suddenly enters their world. They're dependent on the men around them in a totally patriarchal society. It's a veritable plethora of fuel for the feminists of the world.
For me, the idea of a woman relying on a man isn't about lacking self-sufficiency or independence at all. It's about having someone you have enough faith in to trust to be both capable and caring enough to look after your best interests. There's absolutely nothing wrong with turning to someone else for guidance and support when you're certain that they love you too much to have any priorities above your happiness and well-being. That's why I want so badly to find a man who absolutely adores me. I'm a pretty passionate person, and I throw myself whole-heartedly into my relationships - and not just the romantic ones. I give everything I have to the people I'm close to. And I've burned myself out my fair share of times because I've given more of myself to those I care about than I've received in turn. Therefore, it's crucial to me to find someone who can adore me and share as much of himself with me as I'll give to him. That's someone I would trust explicitly to take care of me. Not because I need it. But because I want to place that trust in him and can.
Sir Percy: "What has poor Armand done to be condemned to matrimony?"
There's so much more I'd love to go on about - from Sir Percy's quick wit to his smug grin to his dashing heroics. But alas, it's 6 am, I've been freezing outside in the rain for hours because I can't get an internet connection inside my apartment, and my computer's battery is about to give up the ghost. So this is where the circumstances dictate that I bring this half-baked drivel to a close.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "You must tell me all about yourself, in every detail, but oh, so slowly, so very slowly, so that it takes a very, very long time," Sir Percy Blakeney, Bart.
Music - "Dreams to Dream," Linda Rondstadt
Mood - In love with love
Friday, May 23, 2008
Joyeux Anniversaire!
I am so ridiculously happy! I've just had the most amazing birthday I can ever remember. And I can't stress that enough. Of course, most years, my birthday just kind of passes like any other day of the year. I have cake with my immediate family, but there's not much more to it than that. ...But not this year!
I went to class this morning expecting to make up a test I'd missed (due to adding the class late). We did our mile-and-a-half run, then I asked the coach if I had to take the test on my birthday - just to be cute. And he said no. There's another girl in the class who needs to take it, so I can just take it next week when she does. Score!
On my way home, I stopped by DI to look for a dress I'd seen last week and decided against, then regretted afterward. And I found it! The world was so nice to me yesterday. ...Even though it was cold and rainy and I got a brain freeze driving home on Zoey. ^___^()
So I came home, found a fun candy bar card and balloons taped to the door by the roomies, took a hot shower, and dolled myself up because I had a new skirt I wanted to wear, and by-dangit, I'm allowed to feel beautiful on my birthday! And I did.
I called home and was greeted with the darling sound of Keira singing Happy Birthday to me, and I laughed myself silly while I listened to Mom trying to wrestle the shaving cream from her in the background. XD
Even though I promised myself I wouldn't prepare any food all day (because I've done nothing -but- cook all week), I put another layer of glaze on the donuts, touched up my cake, and then it was time for the party.
This is the part where I just have to state how wonderful my friends are. THEY'RE AMAZING!
We held the party in MAN205, and the boys made it so stinking awesome. We had streamers and sugar and presents! The sugar I'd expected because I made most of it. The presents I didn't really expect. After all, my friends are poor starving college students too. Autumn gave me enough flour and sugar to feed my boys for... well... a while. Haha. Hyrum and Steve got me a spiffy tapestry, a Captain Planet t-shirt, and best of all, the Best of Bowie! XD I kind of awkward-hug-attacked them over it. Heheh... ^.^()
Also, I've never heard the Happy Birthday song sung the way it was - nor will I ever hear that exact sound again. We had a room full of RM's, and they all sang in their own mission tongues at once. I couldn't stop laughing through it. Then I blew out every one of my twenty polka-dotted candles in one puff, and no I will not tell you what I wished for. In fact, I almost -didn't- make a wish. Hope I didn't think of it too late. For some reason, I almost always forget that part every year...
I was uber-pleased with the way my cake turned out. I'm right proud of it, I am. I'm excited for MomMom's cake to arrive too. I have the most amazing grandma. I don't know anyone else lucky enough to get a grandma who will ship them a birthday cake from 2,000 miles away.
So after the consumption of massive amounts of sugar, the die-hards accompanied me to Classic Skating for the most outstanding part of the night. Nevermind the scuzzy little preteens that were all over the floor, it was amazing. Hyrum kept requesting our favorite 80's rock numbers, and we air banded it up to songs those little skeezes were too young and uncultered to know or appreciate. Haha! XD We played tag around the rink, belted it out with Bon Jovi, Journey, and Billy Idol, danced it up with ourselves, and showed off our mad sk8R skillz. Hyrum and Steve made sure I had at least one guy to hold hands with during each of the slow songs, Korrie kept me giggling all night, we had a good laugh over Andrew getting hit on by a high schooler, and of course, the other guys were a blast. I didn't fall once (thought not for lack of trying on mine and Steve's part), and I have no blisters on my feet - pretty incredible, I must say. We topped the night off with a rousing chorus of God Bless the USA, then drove home to the soothing sound of Bowie at his best.
It was the perfect climax to a perfect day. I'm so grateful for the friends that made my birthday such a wonderful day for me. Extra cudos to Hyrum for prodding me into making the party plans (which I wouldn't have done without the encouragement) - then being patient as I changed my mind about them over and over, and to Steve for keeping me company through large chunks of the baking preparations I've been involved with all week. They spoil me, and I absolutely adore them for it.
I'm so lucky and so blessed. AND I'M TWENTY!!!!!!! XD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters," Thomas Jefferson
Music - "The Final Countdown," Europe
Mood - Jubilant
I went to class this morning expecting to make up a test I'd missed (due to adding the class late). We did our mile-and-a-half run, then I asked the coach if I had to take the test on my birthday - just to be cute. And he said no. There's another girl in the class who needs to take it, so I can just take it next week when she does. Score!
On my way home, I stopped by DI to look for a dress I'd seen last week and decided against, then regretted afterward. And I found it! The world was so nice to me yesterday. ...Even though it was cold and rainy and I got a brain freeze driving home on Zoey. ^___^()
So I came home, found a fun candy bar card and balloons taped to the door by the roomies, took a hot shower, and dolled myself up because I had a new skirt I wanted to wear, and by-dangit, I'm allowed to feel beautiful on my birthday! And I did.
I called home and was greeted with the darling sound of Keira singing Happy Birthday to me, and I laughed myself silly while I listened to Mom trying to wrestle the shaving cream from her in the background. XD
Even though I promised myself I wouldn't prepare any food all day (because I've done nothing -but- cook all week), I put another layer of glaze on the donuts, touched up my cake, and then it was time for the party.
This is the part where I just have to state how wonderful my friends are. THEY'RE AMAZING!
We held the party in MAN205, and the boys made it so stinking awesome. We had streamers and sugar and presents! The sugar I'd expected because I made most of it. The presents I didn't really expect. After all, my friends are poor starving college students too. Autumn gave me enough flour and sugar to feed my boys for... well... a while. Haha. Hyrum and Steve got me a spiffy tapestry, a Captain Planet t-shirt, and best of all, the Best of Bowie! XD I kind of awkward-hug-attacked them over it. Heheh... ^.^()
Also, I've never heard the Happy Birthday song sung the way it was - nor will I ever hear that exact sound again. We had a room full of RM's, and they all sang in their own mission tongues at once. I couldn't stop laughing through it. Then I blew out every one of my twenty polka-dotted candles in one puff, and no I will not tell you what I wished for. In fact, I almost -didn't- make a wish. Hope I didn't think of it too late. For some reason, I almost always forget that part every year...
I was uber-pleased with the way my cake turned out. I'm right proud of it, I am. I'm excited for MomMom's cake to arrive too. I have the most amazing grandma. I don't know anyone else lucky enough to get a grandma who will ship them a birthday cake from 2,000 miles away.
So after the consumption of massive amounts of sugar, the die-hards accompanied me to Classic Skating for the most outstanding part of the night. Nevermind the scuzzy little preteens that were all over the floor, it was amazing. Hyrum kept requesting our favorite 80's rock numbers, and we air banded it up to songs those little skeezes were too young and uncultered to know or appreciate. Haha! XD We played tag around the rink, belted it out with Bon Jovi, Journey, and Billy Idol, danced it up with ourselves, and showed off our mad sk8R skillz. Hyrum and Steve made sure I had at least one guy to hold hands with during each of the slow songs, Korrie kept me giggling all night, we had a good laugh over Andrew getting hit on by a high schooler, and of course, the other guys were a blast. I didn't fall once (thought not for lack of trying on mine and Steve's part), and I have no blisters on my feet - pretty incredible, I must say. We topped the night off with a rousing chorus of God Bless the USA, then drove home to the soothing sound of Bowie at his best.
It was the perfect climax to a perfect day. I'm so grateful for the friends that made my birthday such a wonderful day for me. Extra cudos to Hyrum for prodding me into making the party plans (which I wouldn't have done without the encouragement) - then being patient as I changed my mind about them over and over, and to Steve for keeping me company through large chunks of the baking preparations I've been involved with all week. They spoil me, and I absolutely adore them for it.
I'm so lucky and so blessed. AND I'M TWENTY!!!!!!! XD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters," Thomas Jefferson
Music - "The Final Countdown," Europe
Mood - Jubilant
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Peppermint Twist
I've been very domestic today. I made dinner for myself and the men of Man-205, which consisted of my first non-cheating lasagna and garlic bread. The general consensus is that it turned out splendidly, and I was most happy.
After we ate, I got to work on a recipe I've been craving for some time: Great-Grandma Evelyn's fried, glazed donuts. In the end, I walked away with only one mention-worthy grease burn and had a table covered with glazy, donuty, gooey goodness that my friends seemed to be enjoying whole-heartedly.
This is something that makes my heart very happy. I enjoy cooking because it makes me feel productive. I enjoy sharing food with people because it feels like worth-while service. I enjoy succeeding in my efforts to make -good- food because it makes me feel like part of a legacy.
I come from a family of food-oriented people.
My Great-Grandma Evelyn died when I was 2, so I don't remember anything about her. But I've grown up with references to her skills in the kitchen (and skills with pet skunks, but that's another story). Her recipes were one of the most coveted things left when she passed away, and my mom was lucky enough to get them.
My mom's mother is well-known all over our county and the surrounding areas for her cakes. She bakes and sells them from her home to just about everyone. I don't think I've ever known her kitchen without cake projects in progress on the table and colored icings beckoning my fingers.
My dad's mother has always been a homemaker who specializes in making every meal a feast. It's down-home country cooking at it's absolute stick-to-your-ribs finest.
My Uncle Dwayne runs his own professional catering service called Puttin' On the Ritz. I've been catering for most of my life.
When I was a kid, my mom owned and operated a small restaurant/ice cream parlor called the Peppermint Twist. It was a cute little place, painted red and white all over. The food was amazing. It was generally considered the best place to eat for miles and miles around. (And that's saying something, especially if you've had one of Eugene's sandwiches - which I'm assuming most of you haven't... Anyway - they're legendary.)
They're all food people. It makes me want to be a food person. Someone knows what they're doing, who can make food that really impresses other people. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. And I'm content (as long as my friends are willing to let me fatten them up) to keep on working on it.
I've had a lot of dreams I'd love to see fulfilled someday - operating my own library, a house with my own murals painted on the walls, belting it out on Broadway, publishing my own stories... A lot of things that would leave my own personal stamp for others to see and appreciate.
One dream I've loved entertaining is that someday I could resurrect the Peppermint Twist. I'd change it up a bit to suit my own style - I like the idea of running a bakery/ice cream parlor better than a real restaurant. It'd be my own, but in a lot of ways, it would also be a tribute to the people I came from. I could bake and decorate cakes like my grandma's, make Evelyn's donut and potato rolls recipes, mom's dessert creations from the original Peppermint Twist, and so many others.
I could design the whole shop with my own artistic touches. I can see a corner with soft couches where people can just chill out with a book, and my own little blonde-headed kids marching in after school, dumping their backpacks in a booth, and snatching a cone with their favorite flavor of ice cream (exactly like I used to do every day in my mom's shop).
I've had a lot of fun with this dream. It became especially fun when I shared it with my friend Calli a while back, and she expanded it to include a little dreaming and scheming of her own. It's exactly the sort of place she'd love to come and sit for hours, writing her would-be best-selling novels. She and I have also entertained the idea of running a book shop, so we decided that once her stories became famous, we should make this a two-part business: I'll run the production of sugary treats, and she'll sell the books.
Anyway - there's a lot more I'd like to say, but it's way too late for me to justify still being awake. That's all for now, folks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers," Anonymous
Music - "November Rain," Guns N' Roses
Mood - Useful
After we ate, I got to work on a recipe I've been craving for some time: Great-Grandma Evelyn's fried, glazed donuts. In the end, I walked away with only one mention-worthy grease burn and had a table covered with glazy, donuty, gooey goodness that my friends seemed to be enjoying whole-heartedly.
This is something that makes my heart very happy. I enjoy cooking because it makes me feel productive. I enjoy sharing food with people because it feels like worth-while service. I enjoy succeeding in my efforts to make -good- food because it makes me feel like part of a legacy.
I come from a family of food-oriented people.
My Great-Grandma Evelyn died when I was 2, so I don't remember anything about her. But I've grown up with references to her skills in the kitchen (and skills with pet skunks, but that's another story). Her recipes were one of the most coveted things left when she passed away, and my mom was lucky enough to get them.
My mom's mother is well-known all over our county and the surrounding areas for her cakes. She bakes and sells them from her home to just about everyone. I don't think I've ever known her kitchen without cake projects in progress on the table and colored icings beckoning my fingers.
My dad's mother has always been a homemaker who specializes in making every meal a feast. It's down-home country cooking at it's absolute stick-to-your-ribs finest.
My Uncle Dwayne runs his own professional catering service called Puttin' On the Ritz. I've been catering for most of my life.
When I was a kid, my mom owned and operated a small restaurant/ice cream parlor called the Peppermint Twist. It was a cute little place, painted red and white all over. The food was amazing. It was generally considered the best place to eat for miles and miles around. (And that's saying something, especially if you've had one of Eugene's sandwiches - which I'm assuming most of you haven't... Anyway - they're legendary.)
They're all food people. It makes me want to be a food person. Someone knows what they're doing, who can make food that really impresses other people. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. And I'm content (as long as my friends are willing to let me fatten them up) to keep on working on it.
I've had a lot of dreams I'd love to see fulfilled someday - operating my own library, a house with my own murals painted on the walls, belting it out on Broadway, publishing my own stories... A lot of things that would leave my own personal stamp for others to see and appreciate.
One dream I've loved entertaining is that someday I could resurrect the Peppermint Twist. I'd change it up a bit to suit my own style - I like the idea of running a bakery/ice cream parlor better than a real restaurant. It'd be my own, but in a lot of ways, it would also be a tribute to the people I came from. I could bake and decorate cakes like my grandma's, make Evelyn's donut and potato rolls recipes, mom's dessert creations from the original Peppermint Twist, and so many others.
I could design the whole shop with my own artistic touches. I can see a corner with soft couches where people can just chill out with a book, and my own little blonde-headed kids marching in after school, dumping their backpacks in a booth, and snatching a cone with their favorite flavor of ice cream (exactly like I used to do every day in my mom's shop).
I've had a lot of fun with this dream. It became especially fun when I shared it with my friend Calli a while back, and she expanded it to include a little dreaming and scheming of her own. It's exactly the sort of place she'd love to come and sit for hours, writing her would-be best-selling novels. She and I have also entertained the idea of running a book shop, so we decided that once her stories became famous, we should make this a two-part business: I'll run the production of sugary treats, and she'll sell the books.
Anyway - there's a lot more I'd like to say, but it's way too late for me to justify still being awake. That's all for now, folks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote - "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers," Anonymous
Music - "November Rain," Guns N' Roses
Mood - Useful
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Rawr
You wanna know what annoys me? It annoys me when my space is intruded. By this I do not mean that I'm bothered by walking into my bedroom and finding a roommate's friend chillaxing on my bed. Nor do I mean that I do not enjoy hugs.
What I mean is - it bothers the snot out of me when I'm occupying a room (such as the living room), listening to music, and someone else walks in, parks themself on the couch, and turns on the TV. Without so much as a "Do you mind if I watch TV?" or "Would you mind turning your music down/off?" They just waltz in and flip it on, apparently expecting that I'll just go along with it and turn my music off out of consideration for them... and I do. >.< Grr...
And you know what absolutely infuriates me? Snow that falls from the sky hours before my beautiful, perfect, wonderful month of May begins. *gnashes teeth* There will be justice... Hateful, bloody, vengeful justice that causes the fires of heckydarn to tremble and makes the men responsible weep like simpering, bed wetting little girls.
And how, you may ask, can I be sure it's men who are responsible? Simple. Utah is OBVIOUSLY female because she's constantly going through these PMS-esque weather moodswings. And as we know, all women's problems can be traced back to men. So there.
..........
Quote - "I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside," Calvin (C&H)
Music - "Real World," Matchbox 20
Mood - Trying
What I mean is - it bothers the snot out of me when I'm occupying a room (such as the living room), listening to music, and someone else walks in, parks themself on the couch, and turns on the TV. Without so much as a "Do you mind if I watch TV?" or "Would you mind turning your music down/off?" They just waltz in and flip it on, apparently expecting that I'll just go along with it and turn my music off out of consideration for them... and I do. >.< Grr...
And you know what absolutely infuriates me? Snow that falls from the sky hours before my beautiful, perfect, wonderful month of May begins. *gnashes teeth* There will be justice... Hateful, bloody, vengeful justice that causes the fires of heckydarn to tremble and makes the men responsible weep like simpering, bed wetting little girls.
And how, you may ask, can I be sure it's men who are responsible? Simple. Utah is OBVIOUSLY female because she's constantly going through these PMS-esque weather moodswings. And as we know, all women's problems can be traced back to men. So there.
..........
Quote - "I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside," Calvin (C&H)
Music - "Real World," Matchbox 20
Mood - Trying
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Big Brothers
I really hope my future first born is a boy. I think every first born should be a boy, in fact. Why is that? Because every girl deserves to have a big brother.
I have five little brothers (some of which are actually cousins, but they will forever be brothers by my reckoning). I also have five little sisters (again, some of which are cousins - we're an abnormally close family). This position has helped shape me into a little bit of a premature mother (at least in my mind). I'm protective of them. I feel responsible for them in some ways, and I miss the days when the younger ones were small enough for me to coddle and dote on.
I like being older. I really do. But there's one thing I feel like I've missed a lot - a big brother. And it's not because I didn't have one. Because I did. I mean... I do. I have an older brother, but we've never had the kind of relationship I think a brother should have with his younger siblings. I remember idolizing him as a little kid. I played with things like HotWheels, Ninja Turtles, dinosaurs, and Monster Trucks because he liked them. I wanted to be just like him. But that didn't last long. By the time I'd started school, he didn't want anything to do with me. In his eyes, I was an ugly little freak. He never had a kind thing to say about or to me. We've never really talked at all. He had his pond to fish from, I had my books to bury myself in, and we just didn't acknowledge each other. (I was glad when he stopped acknowledging me since I had fewer bruises that way.)
I guess that lack I've felt with him is the reason I adopt my close guy friends as surrogate brothers. (I did the same thing with the families of my closest friends when my own family was in the throes of divorce.) I have one particular guy friend that I feel like I can always go to for advice or venting when I'm frustrated. There really isn't a topic that I feel would be too much to discuss with him. He teases and banters with me. He puts me through the tortures of tickling. We play fight. He compliments the things that he knows I feel self-conscious about. He bullies me into having a healthy social life when I'd just let myself be a hermit. We fight all the time and I've never worried that we wouldn't still be friends at the end of the day for it. I just feel like I can relate to him and depend on him exactly the way I always felt like a girl should be able to depend on a brother.
I have other friends as well that'll tease me the same way, or offer to beat up the guys who upset me for whatever reason. (Not that I'd ever let them do it. ^.^()) It's nice feeling important like that. It's fun being able to adopt new 'big brothers.'
Anyway, that's just what's in my head right now. I'm very glad that I have such wonderful friends who look out for me and make my life so much richer. I'm grateful to finally have someone I can call 'big brother' - even if it took me 19 years to get him.
...............
Quote - "Men always believe they are in control of everything around them. When they find out there are not, they think they have failed, instead of learning a simple truth women already know," Aviendha (WoT)
Music - "Wonderful," Everclear
Mood - Playful
I have five little brothers (some of which are actually cousins, but they will forever be brothers by my reckoning). I also have five little sisters (again, some of which are cousins - we're an abnormally close family). This position has helped shape me into a little bit of a premature mother (at least in my mind). I'm protective of them. I feel responsible for them in some ways, and I miss the days when the younger ones were small enough for me to coddle and dote on.
I like being older. I really do. But there's one thing I feel like I've missed a lot - a big brother. And it's not because I didn't have one. Because I did. I mean... I do. I have an older brother, but we've never had the kind of relationship I think a brother should have with his younger siblings. I remember idolizing him as a little kid. I played with things like HotWheels, Ninja Turtles, dinosaurs, and Monster Trucks because he liked them. I wanted to be just like him. But that didn't last long. By the time I'd started school, he didn't want anything to do with me. In his eyes, I was an ugly little freak. He never had a kind thing to say about or to me. We've never really talked at all. He had his pond to fish from, I had my books to bury myself in, and we just didn't acknowledge each other. (I was glad when he stopped acknowledging me since I had fewer bruises that way.)
I guess that lack I've felt with him is the reason I adopt my close guy friends as surrogate brothers. (I did the same thing with the families of my closest friends when my own family was in the throes of divorce.) I have one particular guy friend that I feel like I can always go to for advice or venting when I'm frustrated. There really isn't a topic that I feel would be too much to discuss with him. He teases and banters with me. He puts me through the tortures of tickling. We play fight. He compliments the things that he knows I feel self-conscious about. He bullies me into having a healthy social life when I'd just let myself be a hermit. We fight all the time and I've never worried that we wouldn't still be friends at the end of the day for it. I just feel like I can relate to him and depend on him exactly the way I always felt like a girl should be able to depend on a brother.
I have other friends as well that'll tease me the same way, or offer to beat up the guys who upset me for whatever reason. (Not that I'd ever let them do it. ^.^()) It's nice feeling important like that. It's fun being able to adopt new 'big brothers.'
Anyway, that's just what's in my head right now. I'm very glad that I have such wonderful friends who look out for me and make my life so much richer. I'm grateful to finally have someone I can call 'big brother' - even if it took me 19 years to get him.
...............
Quote - "Men always believe they are in control of everything around them. When they find out there are not, they think they have failed, instead of learning a simple truth women already know," Aviendha (WoT)
Music - "Wonderful," Everclear
Mood - Playful
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